Again
by lolo0304
Summary: Post journeys end...and it all looks very promising, if a little unorthodox...but then happy ever afters tend to. Untill things go wrong. Lets face it, given their track record, did we expect it be perfect? Please review!
1. Chapter 1

Feeling his breath brush her ear, his hand on her arm, that was almost enough. But hearing those words, it felt like every nerve in her body ignited, heat ebbed upwards, building in her head until her vision tunnelled, tuning in on his face. All that heat left her in the rush of air from her lungs as she closed the remaining distance between them. A kiss, an affirmation, her lips on his, his hands on her back, her arms round his neck and everything else fades out of the world.

It takes the familiar sound of the wooden door closing for her to realise that he was gone, the first, the real one. While she was lost in the fairy tale moment, in the fantasy of his lips on hers, the words she had waited for. For the time it takes for the TARDIS to dematerialise, she follows a myriad of emotions through loss to abandonment. His hand find hers, and when she looks at his face she sees the loss reflected there, he'll never be aboard that wonderful ship again, never flounce around the console reeling off near unpronounceable names and species.

"Oi, you two, its cold. You gunna stand there and freeze cos I'm not." When they turn Jackie has her hands on her hips and her head tossed to one side, but Rose can see the worry there. It's the same worry she wore while Rose worked endless nights on little or no sleep, to get back to the man holding her hands side, the man who just left her on the beach with his damaged facsimile. But his hand feels so real, although warmer than she remembers. They glance at each other and he smiles that careful smile, his hand tightens then tugs on hers pulling her along to catch up with her mother. He keeps that tight grip, as though she may dissolve into the sand any moment, become so many grains herself. When they reach the familiar town, Rose had spent a week there, refusing to leave the bay, coming very close to pneumonia before Mickey surprised her out of her heartbroken reverie by throwing her over one shoulder and forcibly removing that bleak grey seascape from her line of sight. She kicked and screamed and sobbed, until she sat limp in his lap in the back of the Land Rover, almost numb, all but the ache.

Now as she glances at him in profile walking next to her she can see the same lines around his eyes, the same unruly wind ruffled hair. She becomes very aware of his hand in hers, the feel of his palm against hers, the slight brush of his clothed arm against hers. And that ache that had rushed back as the TARDIS vanished from Bad Wolf Bay for the last time, loosened enough for her to draw a deep breath and sigh.

He seemed to hear this and he pulled her into his side, hugging her shoulders, pulling her side flush against his. His warmth seeped through his jacket and she slides her hand up his back to rest between his shoulder blades. She feels the utter exhaustion begin to claim her. They stayed like this until they reached the small fishing village. They are greeted warmly by the landlord of the local inn, a small pub, dark and heavy with the smell of burning pine logs in the open fire. He remembers the strange women who had simply appeared that day, and had stayed a week, though the young blonde woman appears happier, as though there is less weight to the air around her. She is in the arms of a young man who looks down at the top of her head as though the answer to life is contained in the roots. The older woman's husband has phoned ahead and the rooms are arranged, they will be picked up as they were last time from an airfield 20 miles away tomorrow. He gives them the keys, three, though he hesitates when he hands them over, eyeing the young couple, seems a shame to let a room that won't be used. The older woman follows his line of sight and her face creases between her high eyebrows.

The Doctor and Rose are startled from their separate thoughts by the sound of Jackie loudly announcing "Oh don't you start!" before stomping off. The doctor raises an eyebrow at this, and follows the direction Jackie has stomped off in, only to find that rather more of Rose's bodyweight is resting on his side than he realised, he takes in the dark circles and drooped lids before more securely pulling her against his side and leading her towards the dark wooden stairs.

"Rose, Rose..." she just leans further into the warmth, it feels so good to be held against this body. The ache of absence is being replaced by the ache of exhaustion, and right now this warm, safe feeling place is better than anywhere else she could rest weary bones "...can you hear me?" she mumbles at that, something about just resting a while, and suddenly she's weightless, too tired to tense up at the sensation. This is better she thinks, absently rubbing her cheek against the cotton and warmth she rests her head in now.

She puts her arms around his neck as he carries her up the stairs, his heart is fluttering, not because of the exertion of lifting Rose from her feet, but at the sensations her rubbing her face into his shoulder, the feel of her arms round his neck and her body against his. She is lighter than he remembers, her body fits into his arms and it is not until they reach the room that he begins to feel the strain of her weight across his shoulders. Jackie is waiting; she simply raises an eyebrow at him, but seems to see her sleepy daughter and the creases fade, as she unlocks the door for him. He gives her a grateful look and passes her. She is just grateful this alien man has not broken her daughter's heart again, he is grateful she hasn't slapped him hard across the face for leaving her in the first place.

Once in the small room the doctor lays Rose on the bed before removing her boots. He hesitates at her jacket but decides that she will be too warm in the bed with it on, and so sets about removing the royal blue leather. He realises his hand are trembling as he unzips the jacket. "Doctor?" it's a half mumbled whisper as she wrinkles her nose and squirms sleepily on the bed.

"Yes, it's me, still here." He grins at that "I'm just taking this jacket off, you'll be too hot. Come on, sit up so I can take it off." He helps her sit, offering a hand to pull her to a sitting position, where she can shrug off the unzipped jacket. Her hair has fallen across her face, he reaches and pushes it back, his thumb grazing the side of her face as his hand rests cupping the hollow just below her ear. There is a look of absolute wonder on his face, he knows, but he can't help it. He crouches by the edge of the bed putting his face level with hers and looks into those hazel eyes. She smiles back at him, a shy half hiding smile, hiding so much.

Her eyes are more awake now, as if the intensity of his gaze has awakened her, postponed her decent into slumber. As he leans in, towards her face, they don't close their eyes; she's looking into those dark depths as his lips brush almost imperceptibly against hers. She breathes in, almost a gasp, and the inhalation draws his lips tighter against hers, they press for a moment against her closed mouth before her lips give way and their mouths lock in a duel of lips and tongue. Rose feels for a moment that he is eating her soul, as his tongue flicks against the roof of her moth before retreating to brush against her tongue. She can't suppress the moan as his hands, one cupping below her right ear, the other on the bed by her left thigh move simultaneously move to slide into her hair, cupping the back of her neck. He presses closer to her body, and instinctively she parts her legs to allow him to slide a hand to the small of her back and press his now kneeling body to hers. Her hands cup the back of his head, buried in that hair. He breaks the kiss, and she's quaking. This close his face is a blur, the air around them is crackling with something akin to energy, it raises her skin in goose bumps.

"I..." he hesitates, his breath ghosts over her lips and she realises she can taste him, sweet with something slightly beyond her capacity to describe. "...I've waited so long to do that." He states so simply, and in that moment, with no space between them she realises.

With that the exhausted tears fall, he pulls her to lie, her head resting on his chest listening to the spaces between the beat of his heart. He strokes her hair, her shoulders and back, rhythmic and soothing until she finally succumbs. The strangest sensation of heaviness seeps over him...tired...he was tired in a way he had never experienced before. With a slight groan he curled slightly so that though she still rested her head on his shoulder he was enough on his side to watch her sleep, and as he nodded off he muttered distastefully "Half human."


	2. Chapter 2

Having slept fitfully, ten minutes here and there between nightmares of loss, she finally gave up. The small, warm hotel room felt suddenly oppressive and claustrophobic. Glancing to her left a fully suited doctor lay, fast asleep. Her doctor didn't do that, he always had a wakefulness about his, as though he could sense everything going on around him. But now she could take the opportunity to see him sound asleep for the first time since he regenerated that Christmas, and rather than being the romantic fantasy she had so achingly desired, she had found herself running short on breathable air, desperate to escape a cloying sense of responsibility. Rose had risen and dressed trying not to wake him. When a discarded trainer had caused her to stumble, and her curses had caused him to groggily lift his head, she had made quick excuses, though she wasn't sure why, and retreated for breakfast.

Rose couldn't reconcile the feelings welling within her. Could not weigh knowing she had what she wanted against the bitter anguish of losing the original Doctor, and Mickey. At the thought of his name a wave of guilt engulfed her, it had been Mickey who had rebuilt her, driven her to do something about the situation rather than withdraw from life on the beach that day. The chaos of the last three days had her mind twisting itself tighter than the knots in her stomach. Once downstairs she ordered a coffee and retrieved her PDA. After checking up on her torchwood emails, mostly technical reports and information updates, she ran a quick scan for rift hotspots, made notes of their locations and informed the hub in Cardiff that they may have a new breach. Feeling better for organising at least one part of her life she took her coffee outside. It was a clear crisp morning, not cold, or warm, but very, very clear, almost crystalline. Drawing in a lung full of air, she felt almost instantly better.

He found Rose gazing off into the distance, black coffee in hand. That was new, how long had it been black coffee rather than sweet tea? And why had she spent so much time trying not to wake him? Fear lanced through his chest again, what if's reverberating through his mind. He stood for a few minutes charting the way she drew long breath after long breath. Before he moved enough for her to realise he was there. She turned to face him, "I'm sorry, that i left so fast earlier." She falters through the words before continuing "I was thinking, I think I still am. But it's ok. You're ok and so am I." She turns back to the sea, and he can't help but walk to stand beside her. She draws breath and speaks, this time she's staring at the horizon, or at least something far away, possibly galaxies. "You once asked me how long I would stay with you, I told you forever, that was only my forever though. I cn' see that now." She pauses, seemingly savouring a thought, before she continues. "Now we have the chance to spend that forever together, that's more than we had before. I still lost you. In a way, so did you I 'spose." He flinches at that, he knows, can feel, that he isn't who he used to be. Not her original doctor. But she's not his either, all of the memories are still those of someone else, remembered but not lived, like being in the back ground or watching the film, but not living the moment.

She glances at him, and he can see in her eyes that there is an age that wasn't there before. Hurt does that, ages you, he should know. The tightness in his chest squeezes just a little harder. "I can't love you, not yet, I'm not saying never. But I have to..." she draws in a breath, and it's shaky "There are things that we need to re-do, stuff that we can't have any more, we have to learn again. I spose'" Those words freeze him, she hadn't repeated it, hadn't said them to him since that day he left her on the wrong side of the void. "But this," she waves a finger between the two of them "is going to take some work, some getting used to. Were not who we used to be" A crooked smile crosses her face "You ready for the domestic thing?" she turns to him and that smile, her tongue poking out at the corner of her mouth and it finishes him. His Rose, still there after all that has happened, she had waited and searched and he had left her his shadow.

He makes that silly squawking sound, the one he knows he makes when he finds it difficult to answer a question. "Well...I mean...I..." he look desperate "I guess I could sort of handle, just...could we...Oh I don't know... I mean that is if you want to." Her grin spreads, hitting her eyes for the first time, she turns to face him properly , taking one of his hands in both of hers.

And so here they are, clambering from the private jet, and he babbles, the planes occupants grinning through his stories of the blokes that built the first plane and the race that could fly, but wanted to drive instead and therefore dedicated their entire life to the perfection of the wheel. He babbles till he isn't even sure what he's talking about any more. Turns out this him gets nervous, really nervous, and still not ginger. Unfair in anyone's opinion, especially his. The journey back to the UK is a quick one, a private jet picks the trio up and flies them back to a small Torchwood owned airfield. Rose sprints across the tarmac to be greeted by her father, and a small bundle of clothes which moved roughly at the speed of light and seems to chant "RosieRosieRosie" over and over.

This, he realises, must be Tony. And then it hits him, Jackie had been pregnant that awful day at Bad Wolf Bay, but this child was at least three, three years old, four years since Bad Wolf Bay. She had been four years without him. It had been many more than this for the doctor, but he had hoped that Rose had not had to spend too much time alone. She turns to him, holds out a hand, smiles with that small boy in her arms who is reaching for his mother now, gurgling his glee at her return. Jackie, Pete and Tony share a hug as the Doctor reaches them, taking the offered hand, lacing his fingers with Roses.

"Doctor." Pete smiles as he holds out a hand which the Doctor shakes, returning the friendly smile with a grin.

Introduction and hand shaking over, they all retreat to the waiting cars. Rose kisses her Mum and Dad goodbye, then roars and bundles Tony up into a bear hug, snuffling into his neck. The small boy squeals his delight and wriggles free. The Doctor is puzzled at the farewells, until he realises that they are not getting in the same car. Getting in the driver's seat of the second car, Rose waits until the Doctor is buckled into the passenger side, before staring up the big black Range Rover, Torchwood standard issue.

"Rose Tyler...can you drive?" The Doctor quirks an eyebrow at this she simply smiles, puts the car in gear and pulls away from the tarmac smoothly. "I lived with mum and dad for a while, but when Tony was born I didn't want to disturb them. Torchwood hours can be pretty antisocial. I still live on their estate; dad had them build me my own place to live." She sees the frown pass over his features at the mention of Torchwood, she knew she had some work to do there, to allay his fears and show him what she had done to rectify the situation. "So now I have my own space, somewhere to call my own...ours I guess now." She realises this may be too much, and her stomach muscles clench as the presumption slips from her lips. "I...I mean...well I," He makes her jump when he puts calming hand on her knee and smiles at her. He doesn't say anything else, neither of them do until they pull off the main road, following her dads car until it pulled off at the main entrance to the mansion, they carry on until they came to what looks like the service entrance, the high wrought iron gates open when Rose hits a button on the dashboard of the car, and the Doctor notices an intercom system and cameras around the entrance. "Mum had them installed, she didn't like me being on my own out here, were not far from the house but she kept on until I relented." The Doctor chuckles at this, no one says no to Jackie Tyler. They crunch up the gravel drive for a few seconds until the trees lining the drive curve away to reveal a single story sandstone structure. It looks like a hybrid, the stone is in keeping with the walls encircling the estate but the wood frame seems almost Scandinavian. The Doctor smiles approvingly, 21st Century architecture meets the past, very Rose. She pulls up in front of the large sheltered entrance way, the door is flanked by two floor-to-ceiling glass windows. Pressing another button on her key ring the Doctor hears the car beep locked behind him as she bounces up the steps to unlock the door.

"Come on, I'll put the kettle on." She motions him through the door, as he meanders into her home. The floors are wooden, but warm, some sort of under floor heating, so that the warm wood appears to be actually radiating heat. He notices that she has kicked her shoes off at the door, and wonders if he is supposed to follow suit. "Come through," she calls from beyond the large open hallway with skylights which seem tinted to again fill the room with warm light. He follows the sound of her voice into a huge open plan area, defined into sections by the furniture within it. A colossal L shaped settee, deep enough that he knew your feet were never meant to touch the floor and strewn with plush cushions dominated the area in front of a large open fireplace. Above the fireplace was a large thin TV mounted on the wall, and a thick brown rug complimented the cream settee. Further into the room a was a dining table large enough to seat 6 people and a wall entirely filled with down lit bookshelves, crammed to bursting point with all kinds of books. He smiles, he likes this space very much.

Turning the Doctor finds himself facing a part of the room hidden around a corner. A large kitchen is sectioned off by a change in flooring from wood to slate tiles. A large, long breakfast bar also serves to separate the space. Within the square shaped space is a large island on which the gas hob is located. Around all the walls are more work surface and cupboards, as well as a large fridge and the sink. "Don't get excited, my cooking still sucks." She smiles at him, her tongue making yet another appearance.

She's been watching him move through the room, drinking everything in. Now she hands him the cup of hot tea and motions for them to sit on the settee. As she does she pulls her feet up underneath her, she loves having the deep settee to curl up on. "This...This is very you" he grins at her, "And the books...ooh, i like the books Rose Tyler." She smiles then puts her tea down on the floor, taking him by the hand she pulls him up. "Come with me, I have something you're gunna love." She leads him back through the entrance hall in the opposite direction. He gets glimpses of the bathroom, bedrooms and finally they come to a room which is in darkness. She flicks in the lights as they enter, and he just grins. He's stood in a home library; the higher part of the roof must accommodate this room because the ceiling is far higher, books go all the way to the top, and ladders provide access to the top shelves. In the corner is a desk with a computer and a reading lamp. There is also a large comfy looking chair, obviously well used. "I couldn't stop reading when I got back, at first it was because I wouldn't believe there was no way back to you. I just didn't know what it was yet. Then I read because it was an escape, and now I read for the love of it." Glancing around the room she took in the spines of so many books, some she bought, some she took from the library of the big house, others she had collected through work. The Doctors face held the most peculiar expression, unreadable and complex. Rose circled in front of him, standing close enough to see the weave of the fabric of his jacket. Looking down at her he sighed.

A smile graces her own face, before the blush creeps up her cheeks. The moment is broken by the ring of an electronic phone, oddly it seemed to come from all around them, Rose frowned before asking no one in particular "Caller ID?" a soft female computerised voice replied "Pete is calling". The Doctor realised the house must have multidirectional microphones and speakers all over it. "Answer" Rose's expression lightens as she says hello to nothing but air.

"Hey,"

"Hi, rose, listen, your mother has pointed out that the Doctor is going to need some clothes and stuff, isn't he?" it seemed more like a rhetorical question, but the Doctor responded anyway.

"um, yeah, hello.." he smiled, more out of habit than anything else "well, yes, I don't seem to have anything with me"

"Yeah well I'm going to take you to town and we can pick up some essentials there." Pete replied "I'm in the car now on my way round."

"Ok dad, see you soon." Rose replied, before the bleep supposedly pronouncing the call over sounded. "Very kind of your dad, but I don't have any money...though I do have the psychic paper, oh and a spare sonic screwdriver." A cheeky smile crosses his face at that, Rose realises he must have swiped them knowing that the Doctor would leave him here.

"Oh, don't worry, dad wouldn't let you pay any way." She seems to think for a moment, turning on her heel to meander aimlessly around the room. "Um, if you don't mind I think I'm gunna have a shower, or a bath, so...you could go with dad while I do that. Yeah?" she looks back at him, and for the first time since they left Norway he feels doubt and rejection creep into his mind, the tightness in his chest returns. "Well, yeah...of course...I mean...that is, yes" he stutters, and she sees the problem.

"I'm cold and tired, and you'll only be gone an hour or so" she has craved a bath since she woke in Bad Wolf Bay, and though she doesn't want him to leave her sight, like a precious object you are convinced will disappear if you turn your back on it, she needs some time to gather her thoughts in her own space. She knows that her dad will be planning on sorting out issues other than a change of clothes for the Doctor, and she's not sure she can handle that kind of organisation yet. He seems placated by her explanation. Relief floods him, he can see the dark circles under her eyes and he realises despite the cosy atmosphere of the house she is still wearing her blue jacket. Satisfied that she is not rejecting him he leaves with her father when he pulls up outside, but not before wondering at what point he became so needy. Probably around the time he was created from a long severed hand and a crazy human woman's slightly gobby DNA. She smiles at him before waving at her dad and disappearing back into the house. The Doctor climbs into the passenger seat again, and resolves to pick up the keys next time, he prefers to drive.

As Rose retreated into the bathroom she sighs, so much to take in the last week has been nothing short of heaven and hell rolled into a rollercoaster ride. Firstly four days of jumping back and forth in time and dimensional space, hopping across universes to find him, then watching him die and live again. Too much, she thinks as the beginnings of a crushing headache begin to throb behind her eyes. Turning the dimmer switch down in the bathroom, she thanks the architect again for the warm cream stone tiles on the floor and wall, and sets the large square tub to fill. The bathroom is her favourite space, her room connects to it through a wardrobe come dressing room, in which her makeup and clothes are strewn across the floor and dresser, in the bathroom itself is a huge bath in one corner, so big it has two steps up to it, running around the exposed sides of the bath. The floor in this room is also heated and when she kicks off her socks she sighs at the pleasant warmth. The opposite corner to the bath is filled by a huge shower, two meters across with two monsoon shower heads, showering in it is like standing under a warm cloudburst. Rose smiles at the number of mornings that shower has made getting out of bed worth it. A bleep sounds as the bath stops filling itself, Rose tips in some scented bath oil, breathing in the relaxing aroma of lavender, before lightning a few candles and retrieving two fluffy towels, placing them on the steps. She strips the rest of her clothes tossing them on the pile of dirty laundry now accumulating, before she slips into the wonderfully warm water and sighs her relief.


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor is discussing the preference of cotton pyjamas over flannel, eventually explaining that anything would do, but ending up with two sets of each anyway. He simply rolls his eyes as the poor clerk adds the bedclothes to the now mountainous pile of clothing on the desk. Socks, pants, trousers, t shirts and no end of other 'essentials' have accumulated. Glancing at his watch he realises they have been nearly an hour and a half, he wants to go back to Rose, being apart from her feels so wrong at the moment. Having things bought for him feels wrong, not being the driver feels wrong. He could list a lot of things, but even listing things feel wrong. "Right, I think we're done, I'll just get them to bag it all up" Pete is in his element, he pays and helps the Doctor carry the ridiculous number of bags out to the waiting car. They drive back in relative silence, the Doctor only talking to thank Pete again and politely, but grudgingly, accept an offer of breakfast at the big house tomorrow morning. He thinks Pete gives him a meaningful look, but is too focused on getting back to Rose to acknowledge, or discuss it. At least there's some familiarity there, even if she doesn't smile the way she used to.

Bounding up to the house he lets himself in after a moment's hesitation, the sun is beginning to set in the sky. Its early autumn, but the sun is already setting at around 6pm. Dumping all his bags he scans the living room and kitchen before calling out "Rose?" no response, there is soft music playing, he recognises the flower duet and hums along with it as he smells lavender on the air. "Rose?" he calls again, this time outside the bathroom. When no response comes again he knocks and calls louder. Panic is welling in him, he feels like the lost child in the market place, suddenly and unwittingly alone.

She still hasn't responded when he knocks louder and with considerably more urgency, weighing the pros and cons of finding Rose naked and luxuriating in a bath he opens the door cautiously and peers in, at first he thinks that she must have gone to bed without emptying the tub, that would be just like her, but as he nears the bath he sees with horror that she is submerged, totally under the water. In the split second it takes for him to process this information he has vaulted the steps over the edge of the bath and is pulling her with a hand under either armpit out of the water. Having pulled her to sit upright he pushes her hair out of her face, only to find a very startled pair of eyes staring back at him. "Ah...not drowning then?" he feels himself blushing, he's still holding her under her arms frozen in place like a startled animal in the headlights.

Rose is too shocked to react. She has gone from a blissfully warm and quiet cocoon under the bubbles floating on the surface of her bath, to being face to face with an irate alien. He's making those strange awkward squawking noises he does when he's uncomfortable or embarrassed, a babbling explanation is tumbling between his noise making, as he removes his arms and steps dripping wet out of her bath. "Yes...well I have...I think...I should go...yes".

She watches him head for the door, his wet sneakers slapping the floor with a squelch. "Doctor..." her voice stills him, she sits so that she can wrap her arms around her knees, covering everything as best she can, "are you...ok?" she berates herself mentally for the question, he stops with his back to her "would you pass me that towel?" She says quickly, before he has to answer her loaded question.

Neither of them was ready for the answers that may come to light. He looks back at her then, his face awash with so many emotions it's like watching water flowing over reeds, he pulls a large towel from the foot of the small steps up to the baths edge and crouches down. Holding the towel open for her he turns his head and waits for her to rise and take it from him. She pulls the thick towel around herself like a shield. Securing it around her chest, she glanced up and was caught in eyes that boiled like the darkest storm clouds. Drawing suddenly thin air into her lungs, feeling the rush of adrenaline rush from her centre to her head at dizzying speeds she swayed under his gaze. He looked angry, violent. There was a tense look to his eyes that said more than his intense stare.

Without warning his gaze broke leaving her frozen until his mouth swept down onto hers. A hand cupping the base of her skull and an arm around her waist lifted her onto tip toe to meld her mouth with his. He was eating at her mouth, his lips and tongue devouring her. This should be her movie moment. The one where the music swells and the viewer feels joy and jealousy in equal parts pour into them. She clings to him, her arms around his neck, hanging on like she was caught in a hurricane force wind, as he ravaged her mouth.

Both pull away with a gasp, a deep inhalation against the others lips. He's looking down at her, the intensity is still there, heated by the electric atmosphere around them. She pushes her hands up in to his hair, bolder now than before, tangling her fingers into his unruly. He growls, actually growls, low and deep in his throat, it almost makes her giggle, but there's something a bit too animalistic about it. His mouth meets her neck, biting down without preamble. "God!" She can't hold in the half shout, it tears from her lips as he bites her fluttering pulse point before soothing it with his tongue. Clinging now to his shoulders she feels her knees weaken, half slumping against him as he bites along her collar bones, treading a fine line between foreplay and pain, Paying attention to every inch of her chest exposed by her now slipping towel.

He can barely breathe as his body hums with want. Like a starving man at a banquet he ate at her mouth, her neck her chest. He feels intoxicated by her heady taste and the soft scent of Rose. He's angry, so angry it burns inside him, the only thing he can do is push the anger somewhere safe, or safer, push it into desire and want. A very rational, very Time Lord half of his mind is demanding that he unhand her, wrap her in the towel he is working on loosening to access more skin, and send her to her room with an apology.

Another rather more primal part of him which he would love to blame the human element within him for, despite an inkling that this particular ferocity is reserved especially for this particularly beautiful ape, drives him. He feels her begin to sag against him, and briefly wonders whether she has fainted from the shock of being savaged by him, until he feels her push her body closer to his, and groan against his ministrations. It's all he needs in the way of encouragement, and he pulls away taking her hand and dragging her down the corridor, through the entrance hall to the huge settee in the living room. Pulling her to him he kisses her again, slowly and thoroughly. He forces himself to taking his time, to cool off enough to figure out exactly what made his Rose moan into his mouth, groan and push her body against his, when her knees finally began to sag again he let them. Allowing their collective weight to land on the settee. His Rose, definitely his, and no one else's. The thought hits him at an odd angle, shocks him that he could behave so possessively.

He felt her stiffen momentarily as she became aware that the motion had left her straddling his lap, the towel parted so that only her breasts were covered. He didn't give her chance to think, to pull away, he can't take rejection, not now. He notices with satisfaction that she can't hold the plea in as he bites down on the curve where shoulder becomes neck and she shudders against him. "Oh God, Doctor."

He chuckles darkly, raising his head to look at her, and found it was his gasp that echoed around the softly lit room, as she bucked her hips against him, grinding her heat against the throbbing bulge trapped between them. The feel of her grinding against his hard and aching cock sends his head back, and she begins to kiss his neck, tasting his skin all the way down to his collar bones, charting the course of the blood vessels under the skin. He pulls the edges of the towel apart revealing her body like some Grecian goddess, her damp blonde tendrils clinging to her shoulders as she drops her head forwards. He feels the nerves and shy embarrassment roll off her, and cups her buttocks, running his hands from those round soft cheeks up her back, to feel all of her curves. She leans backwards into his touch, rapture passing over her face like white fluffy clouds on a blustery day.

She realises that she is just along for the ride, with no control over his actions, when he dips his head to bite and suck at one tight nipple doing things with his tongue she has no idea it's possible to do, while his other hand teases her left breast. She arches into him again, moaning loudly. He growls against the mouth full of skin he has drawn beneath his teeth and the sound and vibration makes her squirm in his lap. He grips her hips a little harder and yanks her forcefully as close as she can be, releasing her nipple with a pop. Without warning, rose finds herself mid air, supported solely by the Doctors hands on her buttocks. Instinctively she wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing herself against him. He emits a strangled "Gah," as she bites on his earlobe and most of the coherent thought he had left escapes him, fluttering away like butterflies. His body is throbbing with the need to feel her skin against his, and he has to resist the urge to push her against the wall, dressed or not, and fuck the anger out. He can barely grasp structured thoughts through the fog of need. The throb is so intense that he fears his new solitary heart may just give up on him. "Bedroom" She nods towards the only door he hasn't thought of trying, amidst the rolling heat and lust. Once inside he pays little attention to the room, other than to spot the bed and lay a very flushed Rose upon it.

Shrugging off his jacket and treading his sopping pumps off by their heels he looks up to see her watching him avidly, her eyes darker than he has ever seen them. Her hands hesitate as they slip under the now open fabric of his shirt, making to slide around his waist. He took those faltering hands, placing them on his chest, encouraging her to explore, feel him. When she slid her hands around his waist and up his back, dragging her nails lightly over his skin he actually whimpered out loud, his mouth descending on hers once again.

. She was pressed against his body, she could feel him hard against her abdomen, the sensation thrilled and frightened her simultaneously. Stepping back enough for him to shrug wet fabric from his shoulders, then go to undo his trousers, Rose realised she must have been staring because he paused then, his hand on the fastening. The look in his eyes wasn't a question, she couldn't decipher it, it was almost a demand, a want too intense to translate. She could feel him like a source of heat, a pressure in the room. Bottling out of the moment, she glanced away only to have his hand cup the side of her face and his mouth descend on hers. He had to wriggle to step out of the wet fabric which clung to his legs. She realised he must not have been wearing underwear as she boldly ran her hands over his high firm buttocks, eliciting a gasp and shudder from him. Pressed suddenly against his body, she felt her earlier shyness rush back. She could feel him trapped between them, rock hard. Still locked in a searing kiss he moved them backwards towards the bed, before parting from her to crawl on. This move forced her to look at him, holding out his hand to help her up, kneeling like a lanky Adonis on her bed. But it wasn't him anymore. Not her Doctor, this wasn't what she had wanted, this angry passion. His words echoed back to her, and their selfishness hit her, she had made him better, she could do the same for his broken copy.

She felt the apprehension slip into her body language, the sight of him, naked and wanting, holding out a hand to her, demanding that she fix him. Her hesitation must have registered because his hand dropped, his eyes dropped, and her chest tightened.

She put her hand in his and crawled up to him, rising to mirror his kneeling position. She pushed his hair out of his face with the other hand, studying him for the first time. The fine lines around his eyes, the creases in his brow, the angle of his cheek bones. She took him in, not sure what she was looking for, before raising her lips to his again, softly, tasting him. She felt him shake, felt wetness hit her wrist where her hand cupped his face, and pulled away to see his dark eyes swimming, overflowing down his cheeks. He blinked, bowing slightly as though in pain, as though he was curling around his pain, and heavy tears fell down his cheeks. He reached out a hand to cup her face, wiping his thumb over her cheek, swiping away the tears she didn't realise she had been crying. He buried his face in her shoulder, and let one loud, jarring sob escape. They were both abandoned here, both had risked everything to help, both had been put away, archived permanently with good intention, but shelved none the less. They both had their scars, deep claws of hardened feelings on their souls, both were damaged.

Somehow through the tears, they ended up curled up, wrapped around each other, Sobbing for their own losses. The stayed that way until the tears were cried, until their heads throbbed with the expulsion of emotions and fluids. They lay naked, curled, defenceless against the world. He pulled her, tighter against him, so that her head lay on his chest. "I'm sorry" its mumbled into her hair distorted through snotty sinuses. She curls closer to him, flinging an arm out to draw the coverlet over them.

"It's ok"


	4. Chapter 4

Rose woke to the buzz of a sonic screwdriver, the Doctor was running it over her, with that furrowed brow look of concentration he gets, and his glasses perched on the end of his nose. She felt paralysed, unable to move her limbs, panic seared through her until she realised that she was buried under piles of blankets. Opening her moth to speak she was alarmed by the croak that came out, the noise snapped the Doctors head up from his studies. "Rose? Are you awake" he was leaning over her, brushing hair from her face, smoothing it behind her ear. she croaked at him again before he helped her sit and pressed a class of cool water to her lips. "Slowly, sip it slowly." He ordered as she took the glass from him. Handing it back empty she realised it was well past mid day.

She gasped and sat too fast, making her head spin alarmingly fast, as though it was rotating on an odd axis. Putting the heel of her hand to her forehead to steady her revolving brain she felt him slide an arm round her shoulders and gently lie her back down. He gave her that concerned smile "how do you feel?" without waiting for her to answer he continued "when you didn't wake up this morning I got worried" there he was being clingy again, that was so strange to her, she was used to her Doctor shutting her out where his emotions were concerned, not begging for her attention. "You're dehydrated, nutrient starved, flushed full of caffeine...and exhausted Rose. It's almost impossible you're still wandering around"

The concerned look he gave her was unnervingly familiar, he actually looked like him, and it made her heart ache. "What have you been doing to yourself?" his voice was soft, he moved to lie next to her propped on one elbow. Ignoring his question, she blushed furiously and apologised, though she wasn't entirely sure why.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled at him, and he felt that knot of caring and love twist a bit tighter, she looked so small all wrapped up in bed. "I've never done that before, I guess I was just tired. I've been...focused."

"Do you feel well enough to get up? You need to eat." Honestly he'd been worried, for a few hours after he had woken he thought that she must still be sleeping off the exhaustion, he was secretly quite proud of her for keeping going, 4 hours and he was convincing Jackie that her daughter was fine, just very tired, if she hadn't woken when she did the Doctor would have resorted to a human medical facility, he was scanning her for damage and infection when she came round. She was fussing with blankets, he had dressed when he woke, uncomfortable with his nudity. She was still naked beneath the sheets, and obviously struggling with the concept. He watched her crawl to the edge of the bed and swing her legs out, then sit looking a little forlorn. Remembering a flash of pink on the back of her bedroom door, he retrieved a fluffy dressing gown, and offered her both his hands to help her stand. Holding the dressing gown for her like a coat he watched her turn and threads her arms through their corresponding sleeves. As she shrugged her shoulders into the robe, she seemed to lose the tension in her knees, swaying back into his waiting arms. She seemed almost content to lean back against him, not quite standing, not quite falling. So he manoeuvres himself in order to wrap an arm around her waist, inviting her to do the same. They walked through to the living room and he deposited her on the big settee, she seemed more alert now, though he was increasing worried about her apparent weakness. He had never seen Rose like this before, she had never been anything but grumpy or chirpy in the mornings. He produced a tray containing sweet tea, fruit, juice and toast. "Here, eat this." He said after plonking it on her lap and flopping down next to her. He watched her devour the contents of the tray, all the while feeling relieved to see colour begin to creep back into her cheeks.

While she ate, Rose thought about the events of the night before. Such intimacy, giving way to such grief. Maybe it was what they both needed. To her it had felt like letting go, the anger at the original Doctor that had been itching and irritating at the back of her throat, had subsided. The ache was still there, but it was soothed by the fact he felt the same. They had common ground there. They hadn't spoken while they sobbed their hurt into each other's arms. His anger had scared her, she had felt powerless in the face of such rage, turned to lust. But then, if what the Doctor had said about the new version of himself being broken was true, what did she expect. It is true that the rolling thunderous clouds in his eyes reminded her of his taller, quieter self. But there was a rough needing edge to him now. The human part, she assumed. Perhaps the selfless repression of emotion had gone the with the missing half of his time lord self.

"m' sorry, I didn't leave you any." She said finishing the last of her tea off. He just grinned back at her, "ah...Time Lord me, don't need...wait...well not Time Lord, half, but you know, still don't need to eat as much. Though you may want to get some more jam, I ate that." He wiggled the fingers on his right hand her, and she grinned back at him. It occurred to her then that this was very domestic, more domestic than it had ever been with him on the TARDIS. He was sitting with both arms spread along the back of the sofa, legs out on front of him, crossed at the ankles, and she realised he wasn't wearing any shoe, or socks. She turned to see him watching her, seemingly gauging her reactions. "I feel alot better now." She smiled at him, "M' sorry, I guess it must have been close to four days since I slept. The adrenaline and stuff must've kept me goin'."

They spent an hour just sitting, drinking in the events of the past few days, the Doctor had had time to organise his turbulent thoughts while he watched over her sleeping form. Processing the fact that he would never travel through time again, never step inside his TARDIS, never... there were a lot of things he would never do again. Most of them are things he wouldn't want to do again, but still. She broke his reverie unexpectedly "What do we do now?" she wasn't looking at him, she had curled up with her head against his chest, facing out across the room, to the back wall which had a good view across the surrounding grounds. "Well, I don't know, I was hoping you could help there. Thing is...I don't really know where to start, do I need carpets? I remember you mentioning those, and a mortgage." He felt her giggle through his chest as she lifted her head to look at him. "You daft sod, I was thinking more that you would live here with me...well" sudden uncertainty swept over Rose's face "I mean if you want to." He had that smile again, the one that implies she may have just said the most amazing thing in the world, he was smiling so broadly he had dimples either side of his mouth. She grinned back at him, mentally making notes to make up the guest room. "And I was thinking maybe you could work with me...at Torchwood." She watched as the anger seeped back into his eyes, and held her breath against the speech she felt worming its way up through the memories of damage done.

No, Rose knew that if she wanted to make him understand it would not be by allowing him to lecture her. She held up a hand just as he drew breath to speak. "I know you don't like the organisation, but its different here, small and practical, we are more peacekeepers than defence specialists." Rose went on to explain that they seemed to have a far higher exposure to alien visitors in this universe, and had turned torchwood into a UN of sorts, dealing with dangerous aliens and trouble makers whilst at the same time opening up communication and trade routes. Of course, they kept a tight rein on alien tech, their motto being that if human scientists or engineers can't make it yet, or even understand it, they don't get to play.

Eventually the tension in the doctors body language began to fade, he began to look a little more convinced, it helped that Rose promised that travelling was a big part of the job so they would have to do lots of that. From there Rose went on to explain that she was a commanding officer at Torchwood, and would create him a position, she also gave him a brief explanation of how she had managed to hop universes back to him. Though he noticed that she skimmed over the time they had been apart.

"Doctor, you said, on that god awful beach, that we could grow old together..." she trailed off, not really knowing what she was asking, or where she was going. He sat up then, turning to face her "Rose." He pulled her to him, his hand on the back of her head and kissed her, softly and sweetly, so gently it brought tears to her eyes. Pulling her into his body, wrapping his arms around her, he felt her sink into the kiss, opening her mouth under his. He took the invitation, feeling the drowning desire consume reasonable thought. Her tongue met his as her hands slid into his hair and they both groaned, as though the noise was echoed in each other's throats. Rose was pushing her body closer and closer to his, feeling as though being inside his skin wouldn't be close enough for her. She felt her heart skip a beat then kick up into overtime when he left her mouth to kiss and nip down her neck. Her whole body was on fire, ignited by his hands and mouth touching her in ways she thought she would only ever dream. She gasped as he bit gently at the curve where shoulder becomes neck, and he smiled against her skin. It was the doctors turn to gasp when rose used her handle on his hair to bring his lips back to hers. Finally breaking for breath, he whispered against her lips looking into blue green eyes, so close they were blurred, he smiled "forever," he whispered it tugging her even closer, "our whole lives, Rose Tyler." And the lust and romance, even love was suddenly laced with just a touch of doubt.

The moment was broken by the ring of the phone over the intercom, rose pulled away from the Doctor slightly, "Answer" her mother's shrill voice came spilling into the open space, ranting about alien men withholding information, having acknowledged her, and begun to explain her way out of the telling off she was getting. She turned to look into the Doctors eyes, he was smiling, the anger had melted away, replaced with a replete smile. She winked and smiled back, despite herself, before padding through to the kitchen still talking at her mother, dressing gown in disarray. This, she decided, was a very dangerous game


	5. Message in a bottle!

Hi everyone!

I just wanted to say I know I'm sticking new chapters up here like there's no tomorrow, but I write very fast, and it seems silly to make anyone wait. Unfortunately I also have lots of ideas, so I would love to know what you think. Do I carry on with this story, do I create some tangents or do I begin an entirely new story? I could do all three I suppose!

I would dearly love to read some reviews, good or bad, this is the first fanfic I have ever posted anywhere and I have yet to receive my first review! Just to let you know, I have been back over the first couple of chapters, was appalled at my own typos, and have since replaced them with edited versions.

Enjoy!

Lolo0304


	6. Chapter 5

Hi everyone! Just wanted to say a quick thank you for reading, this is a short chapter, but there are a couple of big ones on their way! I hope you enjoy!

Lolo

*

By god could Jackie Tyler talk. She could rabbit, whine, moan, groan, grumble, reiterate, gab and gossip. Right now she was making a fair old effort of all of these, simultaneously, through the omnipresent phone system. Rose was pottering about, picking up small piles of stuff, and making it into larger piles of stuff, seemingly in some attempt to tidy. At the same time she was heroically pacifying her mother, responding diplomatically in the right places, dropping the odd "hmmm", or "did she!" here and there. Watching Rose do something so normal, tidying and talking to her mother, pottering around in her own home, being human, was eliciting within him a strange response. Akin to bereavement, a want that was making his chest ache slightly, almost like jealousy. He wanted to be able to have chatty conversations and tidy piles, he wanted to wander around being comfortable. He wanted these things, and he wanted them with Rose.

He brought himself up short at that thought. How could he demand a life from her, especially a shared version of her life. She barely knew him, he was a stranger to all intents and purposes. A stranger she had taken in her arms and wept with, a stranger she had readily offered her home to. There is only one reason she would do that. She isn't treating him like a stranger, because she's treating him like himself, or rather the version of himself currently enjoying the company of the TARDIS. She hasnt accepted that he is a different person yet, at least not fully. Feeling his mood darken at the realisation that he was a surrogate for that unthinking, useless alien he shared a face with, he re focussed on her conversation.

"oh yeah, the Doctor is settling in. I think I'm going to take him into work later today. Got some stuff to organise...you know"

She was stirring a teaspoon in a steaming cup, looking thoughtful. He couldn't handle this, it felt wrong, a lie.

"I'm not the Doctor" it was out before he had chance to consider volume, multi-directional microphones, and Rose. The conversation stopped, "Eh? What's he banging on about now...."

"I've got to go mum." Rose said and ended the call with her mother still wittering about nutty aliens. Turing to face him slowly, she felt apprehension lace up her spine at the sight of him. He looked dark, like he should have his own storm cloud looming over head. "what do you mean?"

"I'm not the Doctor. Never have been, just a very similar person, a cross breed, a Halfling, not him." He leaned forward while he spoke, elbows resting on spread knees, resting his head in his hands.

"Then...who are you? What do you want me to do? I can't decide for you what you want to be!" she felt herself losing control of her voice, volume covering for the tremble she felt creeping in. She suddenly felt angry, livid that he could be angry with her for calling him by the only name she had for him. She had asked, even begged on occasion, for him to tell her his real name, his other nicknames...anything other than "The Doctor" but he had stoically refused. "I don't know what to say, one minute you're like fire, you're kissing me and the worlds melting around me, and the next you're angry." He had raised his head now, and was opening his mouth to speak. Rose hadn't finished yet though, she had cried her hurt out last night, and all it had left her with was anger. " I cannot read your mind, I only know what you tell me. To me you are the Doctor, I fought too long and too fucking hard to have you tell me otherwise. So what if you're a bit more human than you used to be, so bloody what if you're stuck here. Me too!" she had gotten steadily louder as her speech accelerated. The last few words almost a roar.

"The last four years have been hell, I haven't eaten, haven't slept...all to chase you across galaxies. I don't care that you're not the original you, if you care to remember I was more than accommodating when you changed your entire body, why should one less heart change anything?" he was staring at her now, but she was too angry to read his eyes, all she could think about was the hot tight sickening sensation in her chest. She was still shouting, tears were streaming down her cheeks, tickling at the underside of her jaw where they clung. "I love you, I always have and I always will. I told you once I would never leave you. But that does not mean you can drag me into that dark place you seem to hide in. Nor does it mean you have some claim over me. You always believed deep down that you knew best and i was just some silly little ape girl, well that may have been true while you whisked me through the universe, but right now you're the one who's behaving like a clueless moron." Her head was aching and bright edged grey patches were obscuring her vision, the ache was beginning to spread down her neck, but she shook the sensation away. The violent motion tipped the world on its axis; suddenly she was on a rollercoaster with no safety belt.

He sat there dumbfounded, his melancholy forgotten, as Rose proceeded to yell at him, every sentence cutting him. She was right, they were both stuck, and he was being pathetic. He had what he had lusted after for so long. A normal life, a chance to settle down with the one person he's ever truly wanted that with. The reason he had so loathed domesticity was that even a taste of it had made him crave its normality. As she yelled her face got redder and redder, and then suddenly began to pale. He forgot about what she was shouting about, already chastising himself for being such a colossal ass. Tears were running down her face, but she didn't seem to notice, she didn't make any move to wipe them away. She told him she loved him, and his attention snapped back to her words, he knew what she meant when she mentioned that dark place, even though he wanted to tell her she was the most intelligent ape he had ever met, that he loved her too, that he was sorry. She shook her head, violently, like there was somthing in her hair, and her knees sagged, she dropped, eyes rolling in her head. He was there, catching her before her head hit the ground.

"Rose." His voice sounded scared, but it didn't come close to the terror he felt. He couldnt wake her. Her forehead was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. She looked pallid, waxy almost. He forced himself not to cry, to check her breathing, her heart rate. Rational thought began to escape him, but he clawed it back. He couldn't panic, couldn't hyperventilate, however much he felt the urge to rising in him. He needed help, where do you get help from, who would know...Jackie. How do you get Jackie...phone. he had to call her.

Taking a stab in the dark, he said to nothing but air, "Call Jackie" then thought again "Call mum" this time an intermittent ringing filtered into the room. Closely followed by Jackie's voice, for once a welcome relief.

Jackie Tyler was sat in her kitchen, eating sandwiches and drinking tea with her husband and son. They rarely got a chance to do this together, Pete was on call but working from home, Torchwood was taking a slight breather, recovering from the events of the past few days. When the phone rang, she ID'd the call before her husband could take it, they could at least finish their lunch before he ran off to save the world.

"Rose, darlin'...didn't think you were going to call till later" the sound of the Doctor's voice cut her off.

"Jackie it's me, there's something wrong with Rose, I need help" she had never heard him sound truly scared before. Pete was already out of his chair and on the way to the door, pulling his mobile out of his pocket, contacting the team presumably. He headed out of the kitchen door. It was a two minute run across the landscaped grounds if you did it fast, quicker than getting in a car. She knew without asking or even looking at him that she would organise Tonys care and take his car, they would rendezvous at Rose's place. When her daughter had moved out of the main house she had sat down with Pete and discussed the emergency plan for getting to her. Nothing seemed impossible to her anymore. "Pete's on his way. What's happened, what's wrong with my Rose, what have you done." Tony started to cry, picking up on the tension, "Where's Rosie mummy?" "She's at her house, not to worry come on let's find Annie" Annie was the live in help, more of a close family friend than staff, but she had doubled as day care, and Jackie trusted her.

"I'm on my way" with that she hung up, angry that this man had been back in their lives such a small space of time and was already causing problems. She would kill him herself if he'd hurt her daughter.

*

Oooh, Rose has actually blown a gasket! I do so love to get angry, even if it's by proxy...not to worry more chapters coming soon!

Remember to review..I would be very appreciative!

Lolo x


	7. Chapter 6

Next chapter...something to get your teeth into I hope! As always enjoy...and review!

**

Rose was floating, falling would be the wrong word for it, there was no up or down, so floating it was. She felt weightless, there was no pain, the hot tightness in her chest, the throbbing ache in her head and neck, all were gone. The most peculiar sensation of peacefulness washed over her, in sharp contrast to the rage she had felt.

Things began to shift again, noise and pain returning to her, she tried desperately to huddle into the blissful nothingness, pulling it around her like a thick duvet on a cold morning. But slowly awareness returned to her, and for an eternity of a moment she was trapped, she could see the Doctor, she was looking up at him, but he wasn't looking at her. He was glancing over his shoulder. She was powerless as her eyes slipped closed again, only to open to her father's form standing over the Doctor.

She was scared, terrified. She couldn't move, like being trapped in a doll, panic welled as she made a futile effort to do anything. The Doctor looked down at her, the look on his face made her want to cry, but she couldn't speak, couldn't weep. She fought against the unseen ties that held her limbs, until in one rush sensation returned, the wave of tingling pain bowed her back, and her whole body spasmed.

**

The doctor heard the front door slam back against its hinges, and Pete half staggered through to the living room. He was breathing heavily and sweating as he knelt by Rose, now cradled in the Doctors arms. He looked over her, checking her pulse, her breathing quickly, before brushing her hair back from the side of her face.

"What happened to my Rose?" his eyes were full of worry and fear when he looked up. The Doctor felt his chest tighten again, but pulled himself together. These people were relying on him to be the calm voice of reason, he could still do that, he remembered doing it so many times before. "She collapsed, no warning, no prior symptoms. We have to get her some help Pete." He tried to maintain serious furrowing of his brow, his level gaze, if only for Pete's sake. Inside he was bubbling over with panic, he wanted to wail and scream and pray.

"It's already on its way. The team are coming, they called for medical backup." The doctor looked up so quickly he felt a sharp twinge in his neck, why would Pete call torchwood for help?

Reading his face Pete exhaled angrily, "They are the best med team available, better than the sodding NHS, and they care about her. We have more medical and care staff than you can shake a stick at, with far superior training. I want my daughter to be looked after Doctor, so deal with it."

The Doctor had been looking up at a now standing Pete during his short speech, feeling put in his place once again he looked down to find blue eyes looking back up at him. "Rose?" she didn't move, or blink, or show any recognition for long moments. Just stared blankly, until a shudder ran through her, and her whole body jerked. The Doctor tightened his grip on her as her body twitched. Suddenly she was gasping in his arms, clinging to him as much as he clung to her, he felt hi heart jump into his throat when she made tiny strangled noises. He loosed his hold when the spasms stopped, enough to look into her face, a furrowed brow and a look of confusion graced her sickly face, like thoughts were hard to grasp. More out of habit and instinct than anything else the Doctor touched his fingertips to her temple. He was surprised to find that though it was vastly diminished, he cold still sense a tenuous psychic link. He used this link to reach out to her, in an effort to gain any kind of sensible response, what he found was white noise, thoughts and memories were mixing with emotions, fluttering about like glitter in a snow globe. Bubbling thoughts surfaced, tethered by strong emotions, harder to splinter and cast into the hurricane raging inside her mind. On hit him full force unexpectedly, and overwhelming sorrow claimed him. Loss and fear, coupled with sadness so acute it made his bones ache were the forbears to flash of grey, bleak beach. He realised this was when he had left her the first time, her memories of that time. Gently he tried to sooth the hurt, reassure her that he was there. And the memory receded back into the maelstrom.

He dragged himself backwards, out of her mind, surfacing with a gasp and a jerk. "It's her mind...her brain. Something's wrong". Glancing up the Doctor noticed a handful of people watching him form a short distance. With a nod from Pete two of the people, both carrying what looked like equipment cases, stepped forwards. They crouched either side of the Doctor, one at Rose's head the other at her feet, and lifted her gently form his arms. Her eyes had fluttered shut again. "Ah Rosie what ya done this time?" said the male medic to no one in particular as he began to check her over, flashing lights in her eyes, while the other female technician silently wrapped an armband around her upper arm.

The Doctor just sat there and watched them run their preliminary checks on her, feeling powerless. The echoes of her memory had created a responding cascade of sadness within him.  
He had her back, and he had been a fool. Now he could lose her all over again.

The squeal of car tyres and the dull thud of closing doors drew his attention again, as Jackie barrelled into the room, kneeling by Rose, stroking her hair back in the same way Pete had. Eventually prying her out of her mother's arms they lifted her onto a trolley and strapped her down. Speaking to her as if they knew her.

**

Pete wrapped his arms around his wife's waist from behind, needing to offer her comfort and feel her close to him. She settled back against him for just a moment before patting the back of his clasped hands and turning to hug him properly. Pulling away she walked over to where the Doctor still sat on the floor, looking as lost as he had ever seen him. She put her hands on his shoulder and shook him gently.

"Come on we have to go with her. She'll want you there. She needs you there." Jackie's voice seemed to cut through the Doctors shock and snap him awake. Clambering to his feet, on shaky legs he half smiled, though it succeeded in looking more like a wince. Pete watched as Jackie and the Doctor walked towards the door together, for once comforting each other.

**

The medical unit at the Torchwood base certainly looked the part, crammed full of medical equipment and screens. Rose had been whisked off for some sort of scan before she even made it to this ward area. The doctor hadn't been paying much attention on the way into the base. He only noticed that rather than heading for the city they drove away, pulling into some sort of old factory grounds. Having driven though some garage doors and down the sloping ramp they were greeted by with coat clad Doctors and nurses, who had bustled Rose's prone for away in a flurry of activity and readings. Now he was waiting, he pulled on the pair of thick rimmed glasses he found in his pocket and inspected the equipment in the large vaulted room. Electronic lights and screens lent a slight blue glow to the room, and despite being large and air, it was warm and clean smelling.

"It's a readout screen, for the full body monitor." He tuned to find one of the white coats, inhabited by a small woman in her early thirties, brown hair cut into a soft bob. "I'll show you how it works later Doctor"

"How is she Eve?" this came from behind him, where Pete had been pacing. The woman straightened her posture and raised her chin. "She is stable sir, in fact she seems to be coming round. She's already told Jake to stop fussing." Pete smiled slightly at that.

"What happened?" the Doctor found his voice was weaker than he'd intended, more pleading than demanding.

"We'll know more when the tests are back but we think Commander....Rose...suffered a Transient Ischemic attack, triggered by a spike in blood pressure which created a small bleed in her brain. They're called drop attacks. They don't tend to leave lasting damage, but they can sometimes be precursors to bigger problems." She paused and took a breath, allowing the news to soak in, and turned to Pete. "Sir, with due respect, considering the way she's been working, the pressure of the last few weeks, this may be simply down to stress, it's not unheard of." Pete nodded and thanked the woman before she went to prepare the bay rose's bed would inhabit.

The double doors at the end of the long room swung open with a light swoosh, to admit Rose's bed and three people. One of whom was a familiar face. "Jake." The Doctor spoke, half smiling at the young man. Jake walked over, hand extended in greeting and clasped the Doctors hand warmly. "Saving the world again then?" the Geordie twang still evident in his voice. "Nah, group effort I think" the smile was real this time and the Doctor followed Jake back to the bed.

Jake hung back as they got close, giving a soft smile to Rose before shaking Pete's hand and hugging Jackie, the doctor perched on the edge of the bed, picking up the hand without tubes running into it, and bringing the ends of her fingers to his lips. "Hey" a soft, cracked voice spoke form the bed, and the Doctor thought he may never have heard something so relieving. "Hey, there you are. How do you feel?" he kept hold of her hand, dropping their laced fingers to his lap.

"M' ok, tired." She snuggled her head further into the pillow "Eve says I can go home tomorrow, have to stay here tonight, m' sorry i shouted at you." A single tear slid out of the corner of her eye, the Doctor felt the well of love in his fill up and spill over a the sight "You don't have anything to apologise for, I deserved it. Just don't do that again, please, this old man can't take it." He squeezed her hand reassuringly before trying to get up and make room for her mother and father, he could feel their presence at his back, their worry was almost tangible. Roses hand tightened on his as he stood, but rather than letting it go he stood to the side of the bed, her hand still in his. He knew what she meant, life felt more stable with her hand in his, like they balanced the see-saw out between them. Jackie and Pete talked with her for a while, chastising her for treating herself so poorly. They stayed until her eyelid began to droop and exhaustion claimed her. When he felt her go limp in his grasp he tucked her arm under the blankets and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Turning to Jackie and Pete he found them both watching him intently, "You'll look after my little girl wont you?" Jackie said, stepping forward, "Promise me you'll just try to be happy, to make her happy?" he looked down at this woman who had so loathed him once for taking away her daughter, and felt a wave of unbidden emotion wash over him "Of course". She took his shoulders and pulled him down to meet her half way, where she kissed him on the cheek, before turning to the nurse stood nearby. "The Doctor will be staying here tonight, see that you arrange a bed be set up in here" she glanced back at him, and the doctor took the opportunity to shoot her a thankful glance.

Walking back to the bad the Doctor sat on the edged before picking up her arm and settling himself on his side, with her hand in his pressed to his lips. "I love you." He whispered it, brushing and errant strand of silky hair away. When the nurse returned with the second bed, made up and ready to sleep in she found both her patient and her visitor had taken up residence in her patients bed, taking note of the wan his arms protectively curled around the young commanders form, she smiled to herself and draped a spare blanket over the tall man.

**

48 hours later the Doctor was helping an adamant Rose through the door of her home, she had point blank refused at home nursing in her mother's care, instead telling her that she had the Doctor to take care of her. As soon as the front door closed and the house was silent she turned to him, wrapping her arms around his skinny body, burying her nose in his chest.

Rose felt safe with her face buried in the smell of him, her hands snaking under his jacket to splay against the small of his back. "Rose, you could have...you nearly...what would I have done?" He cupped her head gently in his hands and kissed the crown of her blonde hair. She looked up at him, through watery eyes, and he kissed her. Gently brushing his lips against hers, as though he were trying to communicate all of his love through the intimate touch. The sensation of it tightened something deep in her chest, and he whisked her up into his arms. Releasing a small startled eep, she wrapped her arms around his neck, "Bed, to sleep," he elaborated unnecessarily, eyeing her warily "I'll be here when you wake up, but right now you look tuckered out." He kissed her forehead and carried her in the direction of her room. she was so tired, thar for now she would let the possesive control thing slip. another thign to be filed away and worled on. Her relief that he was there when she woke outwieghed the obstacles she could see in her way. now it was a case of making him see them too. A rocky road to walk, but worth it, if he could just let the past go. Maybe he could...then again, the dark cynical part of her brain told her..maybe not.

**

Aww pure mush, don't worry i haven't forgotten my own plot, all will become clear. Couldn't tell you it all now or no one would read my next chapter (and that would make me very sad)! Steamy one on its way, I feel it's time for some sex and action.....

Please review, it makes writing these that bit more rewarding!

Lolo x


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